


Strength In Numbers

by theamericanwitch



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Cancer, Coping, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Procedures, Other, POV Second Person, Reader Insert, Sick!Reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:15:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27720563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theamericanwitch/pseuds/theamericanwitch
Summary: The Reader gets bad news from the doctor's office
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Purely a self indulgent fic. First written around when I was reaching my five year mark and I had the thought "what if it came back?"

The day you hoped would never happen and dreaded has finally come. It was supposed to be so simple. Go in. Draw some blood. Get the results and OK from the doc. Leave and be on your merry way. There weren’t supposed to be any extra tests. No CAT-scans. No ultrasounds. Not this. Please, God, not this. You were supposed to die on a hunt. Maybe by demon or eaten by a werewolf or hexed by a witch. Not something as ordinary and mundane and everyday as this.

You got back to the bunker as quietly as possible and went to the dining room. You got a pie fresh from the bakery downtown, some pizza, and five bottles of the grocery store’s most expensive whiskey. You didn’t know how your boys would react but you planned on drinking at least two bottles yourself.

You figured the two Winchesters were either in their rooms or the library. Cas, you hoped, would come when you prayed to him. You opened the first pizza box, a meat lovers, and within 20 seconds flat Dean and Sam came and started chomping on the slices like the gigantors they are. Dean let out an indecent moan making you roll your eyes as you picked up your own slice.

The older Winchester eyed the pie. “Pizza and pie? Holy shit, y/n. I could kiss you!”

You wrinkled your nose. “Not with your mouth full of pizza mush you won’t!” You all talked about the current case they were working on. Possibly a ghost in a town a couple states over. You offered to help anyway you could, even if it was playing “sympathetic stranger” to the vics’ loved ones.

After a while you set out four tumblers and filled them while silently praying to Cas.

“Hello, Y/n. You called?” asked Cas.

“Hiya, Cas.” You greeted warmly. “Just wanted to know if you wanted to eat and drink with us. Even got the hamburger pizza you like.” wagging your brows. Cas squinted at you and for a second you worried that he had you figured out. After a moment though he sat down and ate the pizza quietly.

The four of you ate and drank and after about a half hour you felt the tell-tale sign of the warmth spreading through your body. You poured even more in your glass, emptying it and placing it on the ground and replacing it with another. You thought you saw Sam and Dean give each other a look at that, but you were too consumed in trying to figure out how to tell them to care.

You looked up from your glass and smiled a bit too brightly. “Who wants pie? I could go for some pie.” That time you see that all of your boys shared a look. There was no denying it.  
Sam was the first one to break the silence. “Um, not that we don’t appreciate all of... this,” he started, gesturing towards the pizza, whiskey, and pie, “but, um, what’s all this about?” At your (faux) confused look he stumbled over his words trying to elaborate. “It just seems a bit...”

“Over the top,” supplied Dean, taking a drink.

Sam nodded in agreement. “Yeah...over the top. We just want to know everything’s okay.” The other two nodded in assent.

You looked at your boys. Your family. You drank the rest of your whiskey in one go, creating a grounding burning sensation in your throat.

“Uh, there is something I need to tell you.” Immediately they tensed up and you rushed to soothe them. “Don’t worry it’s not anything supernatural or anything. Definitely not any kind of monster or demon or ghost or anything.” You let out a bitter laugh and poured more alcohol. “Definitely not.”

You watched Dean furrow and unfurrow his brows as he thought over those words.

But it was Cas who asked, “then, what is it you need to announce that would require so much alcohol?”

You laughed a bit too loud, making everyone in the room, even Cas, cringe. “Um, remember just after we met, we were swapping hunting stories...you saw the scar on my chest and asked about it, and I told you it was from a surgery and left it at that?” The boys nodded. “Obviously that’s not the whole story so.”

“Then what is?” you weren’t looking but you could feel Sam staring at you as he asked that.

“It’s where they put in the device they needed to inject my chemo. I am--I was a cancer survivor.” Met with silence you charged on with your oh-so-tragic-backstory. “Just before my freshman year of high school, I was diagnosed with Leukemia. Because of the type, all I needed was chemo. Hence the device. I’ve been in remission since I was sixteen, and I even made the five-year mark so yay me! Right? They say once you make it past the five year mark you’re basically cured right?” You drank even more and refilled their glasses before replacing the empty bottle for another. You felt a burning in your eyes and throat and you knew it wasn’t from the whiskey. Well, at least not completely.

“I went to the doctor today. Even after the five year mark they wanna check over you every so often. Make sure everything’s all peachy ya know? They got the blood work back and, uh,” you coughed out a laugh, desperately trying to hold back tears, “they found some numbers in the labs. Of course by then I already knew what it was. But they had to do everything by the book. So they did the tests. In the exact same order too. It was like being a scared little teenager all over again,” you stated, the first tear falling.

You heard a shuffle of movement, and felt a bunch of arms wrapping around you. “Um, it seems that, uh, apparently I r-relapsed.” You choked on the last word and started sobbing. “I was in treatment for over _two years_. I was, was doing so well. I-I’ve been cl-clean so long. After f-f-five years it’s supposed to be like imposs-impossible to relapse!” you cried out between sobs. “It’s not fair!” After that you laid your arms on the table, your head on your arms. Crying so hard you couldn’t speak anymore.

You felt a hand stroke your hair away from the table. Another rubbed circles on your back and two more grabbed your hands. Stroking the back with the pads of the thumbs. You guessed by the jerky movement hand on your back it was Cas’. The hands holding yours weren’t as calloused as Dean’s, making them Sam’s. Meaning that the oldest Winchester was the one stroking your hair, resting his cheek on your head. Of all the ways you imagined having hands everywhere on you...this was not fucking it.

How long you cried you didn’t know, but you did eventually slow down a bit. They continued to comfort you the whole time.

Once it was mostly sniffles and shaky breaths from you, you heard Dean softly ask Cas, “Can’t you do anything? Can’t you cure her?”

You knew it was a long shot, and weren’t even surprised when he murmured, “No. It’s beyond my powers to cure someone of an illness of the body’s own making.”

Dean raised his voice just a bit, but obviously trying to be soft for your sake. “But what about when Zach gave Sam cancer and then took it back?” You had no idea what Dean’s talking about so you assumed this was before you joined them.

“Like you said, it was Zachariah who gave it to Sam, so he was able to get rid of it. Besides, Zachariah was higher in rank than I was. Had more power. Sam’s was artificial. Y/n’s cancer is from her own body. No outside influences. Only an archangel or God himself could do what you’re asking.”

You raised your head a bit, just enough to state, “I did it the last time without God or the others. I can do it this time without them too.” You looked at your hands, still enclosed in Sam’s. “I don’t need God, I just need my family. Even if from afar.” You added on with a weak and watery smile.

Sam gave you a confused look. “‘Afar’? Why--? You don’t see us sticking with you through this?”

“...I’ll be in a hospital. With cops, Sam. With a shit load of security cameras.” Your voice gained some strength. “Not to mention I’ll have to give my real information. DOB, SSN, I’ll be on the grid again. You might be recognized and you can’t risk it. I can’t let you risk it. Not for this. Not for me.” You stated firmly.

You felt a puff of air against your head, and twisted to look up at Dean who was rolling his eyes. Cas looked remorseful, whether it was because of what was happening or because he couldn’t do anything about it you weren’t sure.

You raised an eyebrow at Dean, silently asking what that was about to which he responds,  
“C’mon Y/n. Do you really think that something small like security cameras is enough to scare us off? Since when do we run from them?”

You shook your head in exasperation. “Dean, this isn’t a laughing matter. I don’t want to be the reason you’re finally caught and sent to jail. I can’t have that on my conscience. I can’t be the reason you guys are locked up with who knows how many monsters and demons are roaming the world. I can’t-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Dean ceased your rant by turning your chair and placing his hands on your shoulders. “First of all, we’re with you no matter what, so whether you like it or not, you’re stuck with us and we’re not leaving you. Second of all, you know we know how to avoid things like cameras and how to ditch the cops. You’re not doing this on your own, we won’t let you.”

“Won’t let me? What like I won’t let you risk it all for me?”

“Yeah, sweetheart, exactly like that.”

You sighed, looking up and tried to blink back more tears that you already felt coming. “...I don’t get a say in this, do I?”

This time Sam scoffed and you briefly wondered if you should be offended they seem to be rapidly making disparaging you a past time. “Not a chance. Dean’s right, you’re right. You weren’t alone last time and you’re sure as hell not going to be alone this time. We’re with you, y/n.”

You sniffled and looked at each one of your boys. Look each of them in the eye and say, “Thank you.”


	2. Chapter 2

You had no idea it would be like this, this time. Everything hurt. Your body, your mind, your soul...even your dreams hurt at this point. Plagued by nightmares with both memories long forgotten, and memories you wanted to forget. Not even Cas could help you with those, try as he might.

You were right, you wound up in the hospital more often than not; and yet you were wrong. Each time you had to be admitted the boys were there for you. They didn’t get caught. Weren’t even questioned; they were just known as “your boys.” Some of the staff asked how you managed to get all three of them on a leash like that you would always simply say they were a gift from God. If only they knew.

They were truly your rocks throughout this thing. You felt guilty of course: taking them away from hunting all the time, and if either Sam or Dean stayed with you they made sure Cas went with the other along for a hunt. (Turns out Cas, angel of the Lord, was quite the hunter when he put his mind to it.) This meant there could always be someone with you when you went for treatment. Try as you might to be okay, to hide exactly how much pain you were in they were there anyway. Just like they promised they would be.

That didn’t mean you were happy about being stuck in the hospital all the live long fucking day though. You sighed for the thousandth time in about an hour, flipping through the channels again and again trying to find something interesting to watch.

“You know we could always--”

“No, Dean...we’re not watching Doctor Sexy again. Besides it’s just a rerun where Kelsey turns down Trevor because she still thinks he’s not serious about them.” you turned to look at him, smirking, “And that’s just some bullshit I don’t have time for right now.”

He raised his hands in surrender, “Sorrrrry my bad. Just trying to help.”

“Uh huh. I’m sure.” flopping back on your pillow with a groan you shut off the tv. “There’s nothing on.”

“There never is this time of day.”

You stuck out your tongue before you tossed him the remote. He turned the tv back on and immediately switched it to Doctor Sexy M.D. You nearly screamed and only stopped yourself because your nurse came in with another bag.

When she made an offhand comment about how trashy it was you started laughing at Dean’s face. He looked so offended and tried to explain the nuances of said “medical” drama.

“Listen all I’m saying is that it’s hard to watch something like this when all you’re looking at is how they still have earrings when they do open surgery. Or they way they treat the newbies.”

“Yeah but the stories!”

They went back and forth the entire time she was in there, between her doing her duties and taking your vitals and such. You may as well had been a lawn ornament and while it was irritating to be literally spoken over, it was also a relief that his sole focus wasn’t on you for a few minutes. After your round of treatment you were feeling less and less like yourself and you knew it was only a matter of time before you got really bad. Again.

After she left Dean settled back into his chair and grumbled about Nurse-No-Nonsense. You threw your pillow at him and then pouted for him to give it back.

“No way you gave it to me!”

“You would deny a dying woman her own pillow?? What kinda monster are you?” You knew you made a mistake the moment you said it; but seeing Dean sober up in an instant was what really killed you. You hated when he got that look in his eye. The one that screamed how much he was hurting that he couldn’t help you through this. That it wasn’t a monster to kill or a curse to break, it simply...was.

He gave it back, even fluffed it for you and put it behind your head. “You know you can’t play that card all the time...it’s just plain dirty.”

“I know but you love me anyway.”

XXX

You groaned and covered your mirror. You didn’t need it anyway. You no longer wore makeup in any way, shape, or form; and well...you finally went bald again. You were actually surprised it hung on as long as it did this time around. Last time it was only a matter of weeks before it completely fell out and left you with an impressive hat collection. It took longer this time and you didn’t know whether that meant your body was stronger than last time...or if the treatment wasn’t working as planned. Either way, you hated it. You hated knowing that you look as sick as you felt. That anyone who looked at you would see your bald head and instantly know that you had this disease for which there was no cure. You put on a hat and left your room without a glance in the mirror’s direction.

As you approached the library you heard voices, not unusual considering the boys were staying home more and more but the fact they were hushed made you suspicious and self-conscious.

You heard Sam’s voice first “Come on, Dean...I know she hasn’t exactly been herself lately but don’t you think this is taking it a bit far?” Okay...so whatever it was that’s going on it definitely had to do with you. Great.

“Dude, if you saw how she’s really been,” you winced, wondering how much he had seen without you meaning to and how bad it really was in his eyes, “you wouldn’t be asking this.”

“Okay but _this_? Man, I know she’s bad but this is extreme.”

“It’s really not. Okay so just sit down and shut up about it.”

You walked in, trying to make it seem like you were totally just strolling in without any knowledge of what they were just talking about. Considering the glances they kept throwing your way you doubted your success. But you went along your business anyway and didn’t comment on it and neither did they.

“Nice hat, yn/n.” Sam gave you a smile and you felt your face flush not knowing if he were sincere or trying to make you feel better.

“Thanks...it’s been hanging in the back of the closet but I figured it was time to break it out, you know?”

“Uh, yeah, yeah I know it is. Sometimes changing it up means beginning back the old.”

You glanced at Dean to see if he were going to add anything to this, maybe a hint of what the fuck they were discussing earlier. His gaze however was glued to the book in front of him. You smiled at Sam, “Exactly.”

Once you were done in there you went to the kitchen, their whispers continuing almost as soon as you were out of their line of sight.

XXX

You were so...anxious. All the time. You knew the brothers were planning something you just didn’t know what. You didn’t know if it were good or bad and honestly your mind kept going back to the start of all this. You told them you wanted to keep your distance during all this and now that they’ve seen you during treatment you were worried that they would take you up on that offer. That they thought you were a burden. Too hard to take care of, too much effort, too much patience, and way too many rules about how to help care for you. You were sure it was only a matter of time until they realized it would be better for everyone for you to go live somewhere for people like you.

You hadn’t seen them all day and you wanted to make sure they knew your appointment had been changed. That you knew it was yet another thing they had to deal with and that you were sorry and could find another way to get there if needed. It’d been a while since you’d seen Cas anyway so maybe he could take you if they couldn’t.

You wandered the halls, calling out their names, “Come on, guys, this isn’t funny!”

“Alright!” Dean shouted and you followed his voice. “Alright, eager beaver. Can’t give us two more minutes can ya?”

“Two minutes for what--” you gasped at the sight in front of you.

Sam turned to you, wiping off his newly shaved head. “Well? What do you think? Think we actually pull it off.”

He...was bald. So was Dean. They were both bald… not a hair on their heads. And, yeah sure they looked good but that was not the point the point was that they were bald!

Dean smirked, “Aw look at that she’s speechless. Okay hon, tell us how you really think we look. Lay it on us.”

You just continued to stare. Lips parted, eyes more than likely bugging out of your also bald head...you legitimately couldn’t think of anything to say. You did however, burst into tears.

The reaction was clearly not one that they were expecting because the brothers were frozen in place while you cried. Sam finally reacted first by backhanding Dean in the shoulder.

“I so fucking told you.” he walked over to you while Dean remained in his place. Sam hugged you and in his embrace you cried harder.

“Shit,,,shit y/n it was not supposed to be like this. We just wanted..well...we uh…Shit sweetheart I’m sorry.” hearing Dean stumble over his words like that, hearing the wobble in his voice, the uncertainty...it was too much. This whole thing was too much.

You shook your head, “Don’t...please don’t be sorry. Don’t take this back…” you sniffled and tried to pull away from Sam before he ended up as your snot rag but just like the other times you’ve broken down in his arms he didn’t let you go. You turned your head to look at Dean. You saw how confused he looked and you nearly started crying again.

“Dude, you need to stop whatever it is you’re doing because she’s about to hyperventilate over here.” you didn’t really know what the point of Sam’s stage whisper was, you were being held by him so it wasn’t like you were not going to hear him.

“I’m not doing anything!”

“Then maybe stop doing that!”

You shook your head, “Oh my god, you both need to stop!” They looked to you and you wiped your eyes, sniffling but able to string more than a few coherent noises. “Don’t be sorry...this, I can’t even begin to say how much this means to me. This is so...so utterly ridiculous and amazing and I just...I can’t believe it.”

Sam chuckled, and it was a better feeling that you’ve had in a long while. “So...you don’t hate it?”

You looked between them and actually laughed. You laughed like you hadn’t since the diagnosis. Reaching up to pet Sam’s newly shaved head you grinned and shook your own. “Sam, you finally let Dean use the clippers on you...how can I hate it?”

He snorted and finally released you from his grip, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. You know once you start growing your hair back I am too.”

You smiled, “I know and I can’t wait for that day.” you kissed his cheek “Thank you...this really means a lot.”

“You know we’d do just about anything for you. The fact this made you smile? Worth it.” he nodded to Dean, who then nodded back as Sam headed out. “I’m totally stealing your hats though!”

“You wouldn’t dare!” chuckling softly, you turned your attention to Dean. “So...about the, you know, five minutes ago.”

“You mean where you looked like you had a mental breakdown and I was the biggest douche on the planet?”

“Yeah that.” you went over to him. “I’m sorry I just, like I said this was so unexpected. No one’s ever done something like this for me before. No one cared enough to do something like this.”

“Like Sammy said, we’d do anything for you, Y/n/n.”

“Maybe but it wasn’t Sam convincing you to do it now was it? In the library the other day, that’s what you were talking about, right? Yeah, I heard. A little bit. I just...I can’t--”

“--believe it yeah I’ve heard. Is it that hard to think your family cares about you?”

You lightly scoffed. “Wow that is so, we’re not going to go there since I could very much ask you the same question.” you hugged him, tightly, like it would be the last one you give. “I’m trying to say thank you, you dope.”

When he hugged you back, for a moment you thought he was going to knock the wind out of you. However tightly you were embracing him had nothing on how tight he was, you. You didn’t even think about complaining. You relaxed in his embrace.

“We’d do anything for you.”

“I know, Dean...I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me at the-american-witch.tumblr.com for more content!

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr at the-american-witch.tumblr.com


End file.
